


Our Secret Language

by ThatRandomWeirdo1



Series: Steve x Tony Randomness! [3]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Child Neglect, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Protective Steve, Tony Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-08
Updated: 2015-09-08
Packaged: 2018-04-19 19:08:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4757618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatRandomWeirdo1/pseuds/ThatRandomWeirdo1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony was an unique child, always looking for a new adventure and curious about anything and everything. Now, he's an adult leading a serious life with his boyfriend. </p><p>But there's always been a constant in his life. You wouldn't tell it from looking at him, but he's first language wasn't English.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Our Secret Language

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, this is just going to be something short that I thought of and I wanted to upload because I don't know when I will again. I'll probably do more tiny fics like this one and I'm sorry if that's not what  
> you guys want. But it's just easier on my end. 
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoy!
> 
> Also, thanks to 8Daenerys8 for correcting my translations, Google translate is just so unreliable.

**Tony, age 8**

 

Dear Diary,

 

Jarvis said lots of kids my age have diaries and that it'll help me. But I'm not sure. My name is Anthony and about a year ago I was sent here to this school. I don't understand why, Jarvis and Obi said it's because my parents love me and they want me to go to a posh school. But I think it's because I saw that fight, the one where dad threw that bottle at mum.

 

Jarvis said to start the diary when I start school, but things got busy. People keep looking at me funny, the other children keep whispering behind my back. Mrs Anoune tells me not to notice, but it's hard not to. Obi said I would love the school, but all the children speak funny. They keep coming up to me and asking questions, a few keep kicking a ball at me. I don't understand any of them, I think they keep talking about me because I'm different.

 

Mrs Anoune makes sense, she speaks like I do, when I asked her though she just said it was our secret language. I'm trying to learn what language everyone else is speaking but none of it makes sense. It all gets jumbled. Then the teachers get mad and then shout but I don't know where I went wrong. It's just too hard. Jarvis speaks my language sometimes, Obi keeps getting words mixed up but he says he's learning, mum speaks my language all the time! She even gets confused by everyone else who speaks weirdly.

 

Dad doesn't though. We don't speak together much though so it doesn't matter.

 

I'm not making many friends, my maths teacher likes me because I understand numbers, but I don't understand the letters, so my literacy teacher keeps getting mad. The children leave me alone, they keep singing things when I'm near, but Mrs Anoune keeps pushing me away when the do that. But I do have Mrs Anoune who says she'll be here whenever I need her, I like her.

 

Bye Diary!

 

_Tony was walking down another hall. Mrs Anoune, the school's Italian teacher, holding his hand as they rushed to the lunch hall before the other classes were let out and it got too busy. Unfortunately for Tony, Mrs Anoune was needed in the languages team room for an emergency. Tony looked shyly right to left, he knew his way around the school but children were now leaving their classes, he was too late. The bubbling and excited chatter drowned Tony as he looked desperately. He was nudged over by another student carrying a cardboard box project for his next class. "Sorry, didn't mean to bump into you, are you lost?" The young child asked as he held out his hand for Tony to pull himself up from the ground._

_"Mi dispiace, stai parlando in modo strano. Non riesco a capirti. Puoi parlare normalmente per favore. (I'm sorry, you are talking strangely. I can not understand. Please speak normally.)"  Tony gasped over the shouting voices of the other students._

_"Don't speak to him, he's the weirdo boy. Remember, the one who speaks all funny." The boy's friend appeared and carefully steered him away from Tony who was too scared to move._

_Tony just sat on the floor and burst into tears, the weird voices seeming like punches and voilent beatings to him. He begged to go home, but no student could understand why the weirdo kid was upset._

 

* * *

 

 

**Tony, aged 16**

 

Dear Diary,

 

It's weird to think that a few years ago we were friends. I remember writing in this same scruffy notebook so that I had someone who understood me, so a lot has changed since then. More than even I can keep track of.

 

Now, I have a basic understanding of English and can speak some sentences fluently. There's still some words I don't know or just can't pronounce but I think I've done well. I no longer think that I speak a 'Special Language', I understand that my first language was Italian and that everyone around me was English, that's why everything seemed so foreign. Apparently mum always spoke to me in Italian when I was born so I picked up that language, Jarvis had some distant relative that taught him Italian and Obi didn't want to confuse me by speaking English so he learnt Italian. Dad never spoke a word of Italian to me but he never talked to me ever so I couldn't pick up English.

 

About an hour ago, I would've said that I was happy and my studying was going well even though I had to learn English on the side. But then stupid Nick had to be an absolute idiot! He's the only reason why I dug out this notebook thing, I was looking for more of his things to burn on the fire.

 

Anyway, he was my boyfriend. Was. After classes he just comes up to me to say we should date other people! At first I thought that it was the fact that we sometimes got some homophobic comments, I still can't translate them well, but that's what he said they were. But then I find out he's been talking the whole time we were dating about how I was a 'dare gone wrong', he even said he was stuck with me now! Apparently, his mate dared him to ask me out and since I was the idiotic weirdo who couldn't understand English, I said yes. He never loved me! The kisses were all lies, his kind chuckle whenever I said a word wrong was just him trying not to point and laugh at the weirdo!

 

That's another thing that's changed though, I have a friend. He's name is James Rhodey, he says I mispronounce his last name but I think Rhodey sounds better. Anyway, I wanted to say all this stuff to Nick to show him how much I hate him but it came out in Italian. It ended with me screaming in Italian and him laughing at how I couldn't speak English.

 

Thankfully, Rhodey stepped in and gave Nick some insults that I would be proud of. He's been helping me a lot recently, he helps me with my homework, he translates other peoples words, and when I say things wrong he corrects me. But he just doesn't tell me that's its wrong, he whispers it discreetly in my ear so I can correct myself. I like him, he doesn't know much Italian but he knows when I'm hungry, tired and angry just from how I say my words. He says it's like my secret code that nobody can crack.

 

Anyway, that's my life. Uh... bye.

 

_"It doesn't work!" Tony sighed as he lazily threw the book across the room, the words sounded right in his head and looked right on the page but as soon as he said them, they sounded wrong and broken. Tony and Rhodey were trying to read a book Tony's Italian teacher gave him, but it was a slow and frustrating job._

_"No, come on now! If you read to chapter six then we'll stop. Just keep trying." Rhodey sighed as he went to pick up the book again for the eleventh time this hour, " Start again at 'We're whisked down'". Tony just frowned and opened the book again, he wasn't going to give this up. He was going to master this and then laugh at everyone who said he couldn't do it!_

 

_The reading was going smoothly until Tony got stuck on another word he knew he had learned but just couldn't say. "Oh, I give up! This book is very stupid and I dislike it! It makes no sense and it's too irrealistico e complicato!"  Tony shouted as he grew more angry at how his words became Italian again, everything just seemed to hard. Italian just seemed so familiar and welcoming and English seemed so harsh and wrong. It's too hard._

 

* * *

 

 

**Tony, today**

 

Tony suddenly lurched forward out of his uncomfortable sleep, the nightmares weren't as scary and punishing as usual but they were enough to have him now sobbing into his pillow. Tony always swore that the nightmares never hit him if he was with Steve, his boyfriend that loved him, kissed him, cared for him and trusted him. Tony loves Steve and Steve loves Tony. Steve knew about how awful the nightmares could be but even he saw that just being nearby helped Tony more than any other comfort. But when Tony had a bad nightmare, his language would swap.

 

The first time it happened, Steve thought that Tony had been possessed by something or that Loki was playing tricks. He liked to think his response to the language swap is better now, but he still has no clue what to do other than just holding Tony until he fell asleep again. Tony hated it when his mind panicked and his mouth just seemed to forget all English, if anything the situation made him more and more frustrated and angry. He wanted to scream his frustration but the words were wrong! He wanted to tell Steve he was fine, that he was doing great by comforting him, to tell him that he was scared. But his mouth refused to make the right sounds.

 

The only reason why Tony knew he was having a nightmare was that Steve had been sneaking off. At random points during the day, he would just disappear. Gone. And that made Tony worried, scared and confused. He liked to think Steve and him were in a mutual relationship, but hiding something behind Tony's back was making him more jumpy than usual.

 

It was only now, that Tony finally knew why Steve had been sneaking off during the day.

"Mi dispiace! È solo un altro incubo. Dammi un minuto! (I'm sorry! Just another nightmare. Give me a minute!)" Tony had sobbed as he struggled to keep his breathing calm and collected. But his breath rattled against his arc, each breath sounding raspy and wet. Luckily, Steve just smiled and hooked a hand around is back to hold him.

"Stai bene?" The Italian was shaky and nervous but it was recognisable. Tony snapped round to stare at Steve who was smiling shyly and his cheekbones glowed pink, "Sorry if that was bad, I started taking lessons. I felt bad knowing you would panic but I can't understand you. I thought I might help".

 

Tony just smiled back and captured Steve's lips with his, the kiss was short as Tony was still trying to catch his breath back from the nasty dream. His heart swelled up at the thought of Steve struggling to pronounce words just to help comfort him when he was scared.

 

"Maybe you could help me learn it, maybe even one day it would become our secret language."

 

"I would like that." Tony stuttered as his brain gained control again, fear fading away. Maybe they could have a secret language, maybe those scared childhood memories would finally leave. Maybe the world will truly be okay, maybe the sun will shine through when things turned sour.

Maybe it was my secret language.

 

  

Maybe I will be alright. 

Maybe I'm not a weirdo.

Maybe it wasn't my secret language. But ours.

 


End file.
